The end of May?

 Really? That was fast. May went by way to quickly with a lot of haircuts, a trip to the twin cities, a trip back to Ks., dropping by the old digs in Madison for Aaron's graduation and pretty much not stop motion. Which certainly beats many months previous to this one.

 Summer is right here upon us and soon will be a glance over the shoulder behind us. I can feel my heart waking up to the sensory overload that is the beginning of a summer in chicago.

I pray and hope that we all have an amazing summer and dive into the communities that we are a part of and live life fully alive...

Speaking of... I have a dinner date that is waiting for me. Catch you soon!

Furious Indifference

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All Men Die; Few Men Ever Really LIVE 
05/11/2009

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The most dangerous man on earth is the man who has reckoned with his own death. All men die; few men ever really live. Sure, you can create a safe life for yourself . . . and end your days in a rest home babbling on about some forgotten misfortune. I’d rather go down swinging. Besides, the less we are trying to “save ourselves,” the more effective a warrior we will be. Listen to G. K. Chesterton on courage: 

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. “He that will lose his life, the same shall save it” is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. The paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice. He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.

(Wild at Heart , 169) 

You are meant to be...

amazing, beautiful, full of life, creative, wise, sharp and attentive, bearing the image of the Creator of the universe. I hate that this truth is so hard to stomach and that we have to fight to see ourselves as these things. It is part of the battle though. I am talking about the opposite of pride. We are called to be image bearers of God, why are we so afraid of this. Please for the sake of those around you be all that you are called to be. He has come to give us life and life to the full.

This week is off the hook. 

Kimberly and I's week is over the top I will be away at a conference for the beginning of the week and we move saturday and this is only half of the load. You have to laugh, right? I guess that I will just have to pray that I can be extra sharp and attentive.

 

Moving...

out and forward feels good. We just found out that we were approved for this apartment that we were looking at. Its not amazing, but we will be saving a little bit of money. It does have a huge deck and feels a bit like our place in Madison. It feels a bit cleaner than our place now. I don't know how to explain it but it does. In one week we are out. The new place is about half a mile from here so moving should be fairly easy. Thanks to all that will be helping me move.

WARNING... risk of deep pain.

My mom always said 'the problem with loving people so much is that it leaves you vulnerable to experience more hurt.'

This is always a statements that we remember when a life that is close to us is taken and the hole feels bigger than life because we loved them so much. Or a marriage that is in your direct sphere of life is caving in on itself, or a dear one to you says that they are going to kill themselves, and on and on the possibilities of potential pain.

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE to not love people for fear of hurting but instead a charge to allow yourself to be vulnerable and press into the lives around you, daring to take the risk of deep pain, deep lose, real soul carving hurt that makes you want to throw-up. 

I am (at the moment) so moved by compassion and so in love with the messiness of real relationships that I care about that I have to see the Lord move. (Us) People are such a wreck without the saving grace of Jesus Christ. How do we not see this all the time. The Savior must be just that, the Savior. I have met very "nice","loving" people in my life and none of them are capable of the kind of love, "real love" that we, each on of us need.

Jesus, may your Kingdom come and You be glorified in lives, marriages and relationships of all kind.

In the end, are we willing to really love people, getting to know them, do life with them and take the risk of deep pain? 

Here we go...

for the second go around with getting in shape. I will be easing back into my active life style. I won't be lifting much, bench pressing, rock climbing or kayaking yet but soon enough. The very thought of being in shape again makes me very happy. I truly can hardly wait. I am very fortunate that things have gone well for the most part in this last year and you know if any of us have the ability to get in shape we shouldn't take advantage of it.

 On another note. I believe that we found a new place that we will be moving to.  It will be a little bigger than our place back in Madison and like that apartment it also has a really large deck on it, and here is the best part, we are saving a bit on the rent as well. We are now placed in a better financial situation.  

We are trying to build a little more margin into our life on all fronts and that has me very excited about this next season.

May is going to be a very busy month, we will be moved in, I am going to Minniapolis for the National Prayer confrence and then a weekend away with my family, weddings and many more things.

 There is enough time, there will be. It is going to happen. 

Jesus rose from the dead for our sins. Sins that not one of have avoided. Jesus paid the price.

Kyle

Our main prospect for a place to live was said to us that it would be kept open for us...

 I guess that maybe he meant in spirit. Kim and I have to be out of our place on April 30th by noon. We don't know where we will relocate to exactly but have had our eye on this place over on Wayne ave and haven't really been that concerned about it because Bob(the fourth generation owner) said that we 'get dibs on it', in a very chicago-an sort of way. We drove by it tonight and that is obviously  no longer the case. Looks like chicago-an Bob found some renters to take our place not in spirit so much as reality. We now have no prospects and are back to the drawing board. Something will turn up, we will keep pounding the pavement. I trust the Lord, that he will provide a beautiful space and that He knows the plans He has for us.

 Other events of the day being the last of the "man class" gatherings. Tonight a group of us guys and our families got together for dinner as kind of a celebration and cap stone. Over the last six months we have been getting together every thursday morning at 6 am to collectively work through the process, baggage and truth about what a real man is, asking ?'s like: What is a real man? How does one become a man? Is there a moment when it happens? What is it that holds men back from being real men? How should authentic manhood express itself today?

One of the main things that I have realized over the last six months to a year of my life is first of all that, these are not even ?'s that men ask themselves. Men just kind of leave these things alone assuming that they know the answers or they are just simply to prideful and quite frankly scared to ask them. What is a man? What does a real man look like? Who is a real man? Another thing that I have noticed is that I know very few "real men".  Collectively as a band of brothers we landed on some pretty good realities and verbiage that I resonate well with, for instance; 

 Men are not just born they are proven. Men don't just stumble into being a man, they have to approach it consciously being engaged and intentional, rejecting passivity(emotionally) as well as in other areas and accepting responsibility. Real men are not push-overs who give into all of there little pansy whims, trying to set there life up for a piece of sweet 'easy-life-cherry pie'. 

This "man-class" is not, nor was it a pep rally or a Dr. Phil make me feel good and 'slap my momma' class. It was a lot of truth that sounded a bit like a foreign language due to the fact that we live in a world without confrontation, thats gotten so politically correct that men don't even know what it is to be a man. This strikes me as very sad.

All in all I am grateful that I made the investment.  I would recommend this series and study to  almost all men having looked at quite a bit of literature like this. It is titled Men's Fraternity, the Quest for authentic manhood.

Ok there is my review, I guess I didn't know that I had an opinion on the matter, oh well there it is.

Until next time, good night cyberspace.